Today

I ate really good ramen at some japanese word + the word  beyond

nomnomnom

and then I went to a Happ yHour and saw all these faces I haven't seen in a long time.

And I saw Luanna there

and we talked about what music we've been listening to

and she told me about her commute everyday

and how she gets on the BART @ 7:00AM from Oakland all the way to Redwood City

and how there aren't any seats coz its so packed for the first 30 min

and how she stands and holds onto one of the aluminum bars and listens to music

and i asked her what she's been listening to on repeat

and she told me she's been into this song called Gold by someone named Kiiara

and I told her about how i've just been listening to someone named Kelela all week

and she took out her phone and searched it up and saved it into her spotify and followed her 

and that was a moment of kindred music souls

and i forgot how much i love and respect this chick with all my heart

because she's a beam of orange light

like the orange light in that painting in Slaughter-House Five

like that field of green with a band of unwavering orange light

so beautiful because it doesn't exist - this painting doesn't exist

it just lives through words and imaginary imagery on some unimportant page in a very important book

i remember the first day we introduced ourselves we all needed to tell a story and she told us the story of her driving through the streets of Ferguson, Missouri (where she's from) during all that crazy shit that was going on this year being scared for her life because she was black and a cop was following her and she started crying during that story - and i Remember that she was the only real person in that room that day.

but she's still a band of orange light despite all that bullshit

living breathing proof of the  beautiful hustle

im going to read another murakami soon

i ache for the crisp cold air

and aomame staring at the moon

i talked to andy about murakami today

he told me the one i've read is far from the best

but all the other worlds are just as crisp and lucid and clear

and how kafka on the shore changed his life

and i remember how 1q84 changed my life

and i want to read a story that takes me out of reality

and lets me imagine as far as i can

and i want to feel like im in love vicariously

you know?

im reading this book by henry kissinger called world order

and this guy is legit so fucking smart

and i can learn about the world through history

but when i read it

i reread the same page

charlemagne, charles v, protestantism, thirty years war, repeat

my hearts not interested in the facts right now

i want magic and romance

thats the way

never felt more alive in my fuckin life

always be in love

always let yourself be in love

thats the way

real dreamers are a rare breed

a-un

Encounters at the End of the World

 

“There is a beautiful saying by an American philosopher, Alan Watts. He used to say that through our eyes the universe is perceiving itself, and through our ears the universe is listening to its cosmic harmonies. And we are the witness to which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.”

“I’ve explored many different lands of the mind and many worlds of ideas, and I started before I even knew how to read and write. My grandmother was reading the Odyssey and the Iliad to me. So I started my journey in my fantasy before I even knew the means of accomplishing it, but my mind and my psyche was ready for it. I was already travelling with Odysseus and with the Argonauts and to those strange and amazing lands. That always stayed with me, that fascination of the world, and that I fell in love with the world. It’s been very powerful, and it’s been with me this whole time.”

“I like to say, if you take everybody who’s not tied down they all sort of fall down to the bottom of the planet, so that’s how we got here, you know. We’re all at loose ends, and here we are together. I remember when I first got down here I sort of enjoyed the sensation of recognizing people with my travel markings. I was like, hey, these are my people. PhDs washing dishes and linguists on a continent with no languages.”

“And I think there’s a fair amount of the population here who’re full time travelers and part time workers. So, yes those are the professional dreamers, they dream all the time. And I think, through them the great cosmic dreams come into fruitition because the universe dreams to our dreams. I think that there is many different ways for the reality to bring itself forward, and dreaming is definitely one of those ways.”

“Might as well be on a piece of the South Pole but yet I’m actually adrift in the ocean, a vagabond floating in the ocean, and below my feet I can feel the rumble of the iceberg, I can feel the change, the cry of the iceberg, as it’s screeching and as it’s bouncing off the seabed, as it’s steering the ocean currents, as it’s beginning to move north. I can feel that sound coming up through the bottoms in the my feet and telling me that this iceberg is coming north. That’s my dream.”

Encounters at the End of the World 1/5

Encounters at the End of the World 2/5

Encounters at the End of the World 3/5

Encounters at the End of the World 4/5

Encounters at the End of the World 5/5

Deep in a day dream

I dim all the lights and I sink in my chair.
The smoke from my cigarette climbs through the air.
The walls of my room fade away in the blue,
And I'm deep in a dream of you.

The smoke makes a stairway for you to descend;
You come to my arms, may this bliss never end,
For we love anew just as we used to do
When I'm deep in a dream of you.

Then from the ceiling, sweet music comes stealing;
We glide through a lover's refrain, you're so appealing
That I'm soon revealing my love for you over again.
My cigarette burns me, I wake with a start;

My hand isn't hurt, but there's pain in my heart.
Awake or asleep, ev'ry mem'ry I'll keep
Deep in a dream of you.

Today

was all about smiles and laughter and cleverness and fun and deepening all the right wrinkles of the face

i met two new people this morning but then after that l spent most of the day alone

i took three walks today

i walked to my favorite pasta shop and bought mushrooms and fettuccine and the lady remembered I get the Parmesan cheese on the side.

I walked to the top of the hill and spotted a woman sitting by herself on the roof leaning against the chimney with sunglasses on sitting cross legged tilting her head up to the sun  . 

i walked in circles around the tenderloin and saw a drug bust and a slouchy dude dropped his cigarette and it landed under my foot and I smeared it across the sidewalk and put it out and a man in a sleeping bag sang something endearingly awful and a woman dressed in black and white stripes and heels bumped into a guy and they glanced at each other threateningly and parted ways  

I finally had a conversation with My uncle Tai's girlfriend Sammy and we talked about Vietnam and we talked about her family and how she knows Cantonese and we talked about the school she went to to learn how to do a nail salon and how she has 48 reviews on Yelp and has 5 stars and I have mad respect for this woman and she's got the hustle in her blood and how she's 36 but at 32 decided to pack everything she had and knew into some bags that have wheels and fly away to another country and start from scratch and my god life is a ride 

sleepy

Also this:

View post on imgur.com

I found this today and watched it for an hour on repeat laughing to myself and then my roommates just got home and I showed it to them and we all cried from laughter and my abs hurt now

Today I listened to a Drake song on purpose for the first time ever

fuck I really don't work 

Proper smoking sections

If drunk

If rolling

If through a kiss

If in an airport smoking room

If in a hot yoga studio 

If it's below room temperature

If dancing alone in the shower

If standing on top of the toilet exhaling out the window

If reading outloud in English

If lazily courting a dark soul

If cooking eggs

If on an AM radio station

Non-smoking sections

If cooking underneath an inactive kitchen hood

If in airplane lavatories 

If within 30' radius bubble around children

If underwater in a submarine

If in outer atmospheric orbit

If underneath the covers

If anywhere in Belmont, CA

If sober  

^ ^ ^

Kingdom Kingdom

Crush Crush

Today

I felt angry because the software I rely on to work updated and then began to spinning beachball itself to oblivion. And a friend of mine was late to a meeting by an hour. And I sat there in the sun trying to read a book but I just re-read the same line over and over again about Charlemagne and Charles the V and his failures at containing the Protestant movement and how the Thirty Years War - well I don't know what really happened because I just re-read that part over and over.

That was four hours ago, I was angry for three. But then I drove back to my neighborhood and parked and got out and walked around the blocks for a while and went home and cooked funny looking pasta and my roommate Evan let me use his prosciutto and I mixed that shit in with butter and gorgonzola cheese and it was bougie as fuck and dank and we thought out loud about celebrities and how far looks will take a person through life and how tragically unfair it is for the ugly.  

And then I'm sittin here right now and feeling calmer and listening to the sound of a morning in the amazon forest with that Kelela The High track on repeat coz this one is a welcomed parasite I'm gonna let simmer in the mind for a while. You know what they say about the 88th listen. 

The director of my architecture program back at Stanford followed me on Instagram today and the first thing he got to look at is my photo of a knife stabbed through a menthol Marlboro. I hope he doesn't judge - but whatever, he knows me - it's all fine - it just make sense - older people read us as easily as we would a children's book. Reading between the lines for a novel only 25 years old must be pretty damn predictable to a 50 year old soul. 

Double time.

I never knew, I never cared

I wonder how we came to this 

I play it over in my head

You're watching video instead

And we'd do anything for the high

Must you leave now

Why must you leave now

That's what you said

No idea what this story must refer to. Something heart breaking probs. Says she was born in 1983. So what, 32? Man, so much more time. 

I found a folded note in one of my old journals today. It was some draft of a love letter to this girl before she moved away. I put it in the sleeve of one of my favorite records and gave it to her when I drove her to the airport and said bye. The record was translucent and red. It was called Roses. It looked like strawberry jello frozen into a disc. The song isn't very complex, but it's neon sunshine - and I guess that kinda  captures that whole thing quite precisely. We don't really talk anymore - ain't nobody got time for dat. Funny how the strongest feelings kind of just dissolve into Odyssean distant memories. 

No reason to stop living life as if it were the Odyssey though.

I'm going to rewatch Jodorowsky's Dune on Friday with a few first-timers.

I wonder what color the fire will be this time?

Rainforest

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I woke up to the sound of rain

and I thought about that time I told you about how I can't wait for my next rainy day. well, it's here. it's pretty nice.

Headphone sex

Today

We went to Ranch 99 and bought shredded pork and bean curd and scallion buns and morning glory and Rachele made juk and I ate my meal entirely out of cat-themed utensils and dishware, and then Hai & I moved some furniture around and struggled with a rug for a bit, and then Frank Sinatra came on the radio, and some weird dancing was involved, and then I got in my car and drove to Dublin an hour early and drove deep into the hills, and pissed at one of the rest stops, and walked around in the middle of no where, and admired the sun, and tried to drive behind a state prison but got cut off by a security gate, and then sat at a bench and listened to the sounds of Chinese Opera coming out of a mobile phone as an old man and a caretaker walked past, and then I went to my uncle's new place and Mark made me an old-fashioned with tequila, and I tried a New York Sour for the first time, and we ate seven courses of beef, and Nhung told me she had a dress made for herself specifically to wear for when I get married, and I was like what the fuck, and we all laughed, and I learned Tai does 2000 situps everyday and he's a fucking psycho, and Todd gave me a list of restaurants to hit up in San Gabriel Valley, and we sat around a fire in the backyard that ran out of propane about 5 min into the whole experience - and I realized I love my fucking family so much and they are unbelievably tight. Yes.

Good dayz

Seven Courses of Beef

Throwing infinite <3 @ my aunts & uncles