got dinner with Gavin tonight. 

We talked about what happens if you lose your backpack on cal train, on unique meanings and interpretations available only through the experience of reading certain languages, on linguistic poetic variability, on friendship, on the power of a single conversation, on detachment, on taking a break from the laptop, on confidence, on Parenting as the act of orchestrating and controlling the boundaries and nature of the fog of war as seen in Starcraft, on memories of what it means to be sharp and funny at 11 years old, on the value of juxtaposition and contrast, on the dangers of monofocussed groupthink, on newspeak, on 1984, on language and the natural pathways towards accessibg certain  ideas, on Croatia, on the fall of the USSR, on sliders, on grown up gifting and picking up the bill, on favors that don't need to be returned, on growth, on maturity, on fear, on ability, on preserverence, 


im standing over my bathroom sink  

elbows leaned on the counter


the intervals between each pulse

the glint of light in my lower pupil

shining up , almond eye

emotions are a hard thing